Last week several government databases decided I was living in Leeds again. Whilst I like Leeds, I'd quite like my post to end up in the same building that I'm living in. A few phone calls into the problem and the finger looks to be pointing at either the National Insurance Contributions Office or HMRC. I can't get through to NICO because all their lines are busy. As usual. However, as another department kindly sent me a letter saying they'd been in touch with HMRC about my tax code several days before things started going wrong, this is where I pick up the trail.

The phone number for HMRC in said letter leads to a recorded message telling me to call another number, which I immediately call and after navigating a tortuous path through their answering system I finally get connected to a tired sounding human. Before he can help me he needs to ask a number of security questions including my most recent address. Can anyone spot the fail here. Further fail seems to be a one strike policy on the security questions, and the final fail is a refusal to discuss how one can go about establishing one's identity if the system is indeed wrong, because I am assured that the system is never wrong. Have I woken up in a Terry Gilliam movie? Am I in hell?