Jenson Button 1st, Rubens Barrichello 2nd, both in Mercedes powered Brawn GP cars that seem to have come flying out of the ashes of Honda. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it myself.

It seems that F1 fansites are now fair game for lawyers.

Therefore, for the record, I have absolutely nothing to do with Red Bull and wouldn't wish to given how they treat their fans.

I can't seem to find an F1-lined product to consume purely as an act of defiance. Virgin Cola would be appropriate. And for the first time in a while I want a cigarette. Strange how I used to like Marlboroughs but mildly dislike Ferrari...

The Chain sounds just as good as it ever did.

The super-deep-voiced intro that sounded like a 5 minute long marks and sparks advert did not.

This time it's David Coulthard's turn to say things that just don't get said, calling Felipe Massa a "Little Bastard". Maybe it's all that Red Bull providing a we're on British TV bypass. Maybe Red Bull Racing get all the bad luck. Maybe we should ask Mark Webber

So I'm watching the Japaneese Grand Prix live, and despite all the farce of about half the race running under the safety car, it's a landmark race, or at least as far as I'm aware. Not because of Hamilton's cool-headed first wet race, nor Ferrari's investigation of the limits of the rules, but Mark Webber's response to being rear-ended by Vettel under the safety car.

It's just kids with no experience, they fuck everything up really.

Well thanks Mark, we'll just leave that there shall we?

In the US of A, they watch the cars go round in circles. There are enough roundabouts it Milton Keynes to remind us that it's not much fun.

And of course they have the blondes on the grid. And Martin Brundle is British enough to have to resort to interviewing them to determine their function. Below is a translation from their natural languages into English. (I hope I don't need to point out that both BBC English* and US English are both foreign languages to me.)

So what are you doing here on the grid?